it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
