It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
he farted when he came. not the best ending to my day.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize
