Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize
