summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
