She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
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