nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
