Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I don't know how to tell my mom that I'm not sober enough to drive to the dentist...
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
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