My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Randomize
