So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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