bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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