i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
