how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
Randomize
