Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
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