he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
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