I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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