So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
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