So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
It took him 15 minutes to put the condom on.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
Randomize
