Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
Im rethinking drunk tuesdays. Also rethinking ovaries.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
Randomize
