bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I woke up this morning to 7 word documents that all said "remember to be extremely angry at your jerk of a brother." What the hell did you do to me last night?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
Randomize