I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
