Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
If he would've shaved his beard when we first broke up, getting over him would've been so much simpler. That asshole.
I'm sitting here listening to fat joe and doing kegels I have given up
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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