I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
tell ils to like buy her flowers and like a balloon that says, sorry I tried to fuck your sister. I think hallmark makes some of those cards too.
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
