nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
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