When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
