This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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