why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Randomize
