bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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