im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
