Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
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