like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
