i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Randomize