Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
