Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
