Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Randomize
