I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
