I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
