You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
drinking out of a sandbucket again
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
