either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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