i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
