HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you kept eating the heads off the gummy bears and screaming 'euthanized!'
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
