my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
