I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
Randomize
