you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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