1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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