there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
Randomize
