I'm drive I can fine osifer
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
Honestly, it's his loss. He went for the free sample when he could've gotten the whole package, babes.
does that make me the free sample at the grocery store he didn't like enough to buy...? yeah, that advice didn't help, but thanks.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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