so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
handjob tips. give me some.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
