If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
