Dude, I woke up in the kitchen, naked, with a blueberry bagel as a pillow.
Can I eat your pillow?
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he has cookie breath... dont trust fat people.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
Randomize
