moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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