how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Randomize
