Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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