I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Went to the elf storage building to help him get his old dresser. Found his brother's stash in the drawer and ended up passed out w him on the mattress in there instead.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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