He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
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