Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
