You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
