i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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