whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
