Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Never let your siblings swipe right.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Randomize
