Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
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