I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
